The Road Less Travelled

A classic self-help book first published in 1978 by a then practising psychiatrist. Nearly broken by trauma and ill health in 1990, I came across it in 1991 and it was one of the several things that helped me to deconstruct, heal and reconstruct myself. I recently gave my dogeared copy to a friend going through her own crisis, which spurred me to read it again. It holds up. Some of his conclusions are wishful thinking, but his approach still makes inspiring sense. Towards the end he discusses religion, but his take on it can be read as secular and philosophical rather than religious, as you wish.

Over 30 years I've bought many copies of this book that I've given mainly to young people struggling with life and mental health, as it was a book that helped me the most when I was in my 20s struggling with deep depression. The book isn't specifically aimed at young people, it's for everyone, I just happen to have given it mainly to those who are a similar age to me at the time that I read it. Most have said it's really helped them. I was a little hesitant this time, wondering if it was by now a little dated in content, or they way it's written, but the young man I made this purchase for 2 months ago has just contacted me to tell me that as a self help and guidance book "It's the best I've ever read!" which is wonderful know, and it's not been unusual to receive this kind of response. I think it's quite easy to read. It's not so simplistic as to have some kind of message on each page, it's a serious book that helps with serious issues in simple language that's easy to understand. I'm aware of some of the criticisms the book appears to receive in some of the reviews. That the author is Christian, but I was never aware of that when I read it. It isn't overt. Some people question one or two paragraphs that sound like they're based in beliefs rather than solid theory. But Peck is writing from a basis of experience as well as theory, and that is valuable also in counselling sessions - you want someone who has some experience in life! But importantly I think, when you are young and struggling with something in life, you're not so pedantic and critiquing it on it's literary or theoretical merits, you just want help, from a self book! At the end of the day all that matters, is that you can understand what it's saying, that it makes sense, and makes you think about things in a different way, and that it helps. It may not be for everyone, but when it comes to mental health, there is no 'one-size-fits-all'. But judging by the sales & popularity of this book, it's helped a great many, and it's certainly worth a try! And in my experience, for myself, and for others I've gifted it to over the years, many in their late teens or 20s, most have got something of value from it, and it really has helped.

The book states that a ‘life lived properly is supposed to be hard’. Could this also apply to self help books too ? “If they work they’re not an easy read” ? Well this certainly wasn’t for me (my brain still hurts). I think “Life Bible” as others have suggested would probably be a more accurate description than book. That said it was a very interesting read. I’d definitely give it a go. I think it’s a book you need to read yourself as everyone will glean different things from it. I have done an “interpretation” below though that I would’ve appreciated reading prior to the book. I was often left thinking that’s a great observation but how is all this fitting together ? Discipline This section focuses mainly on childhood and how a lack of love can lead to problems in later life. Neurosis Taking on too much responsibility. (Fearing abandonment, focusing on flaws). And/or Character Disorder Taking on too little responsibility. (copy others,don’t discipline themselves). What therefore should parents do ? Simply be there and aid children’s search to find reality. Give them attention; listen to anything they want to say. Teach them self-examination and that they’ll need to continually change and re assess things throughout their life. Encourage them to be as honest as possible, only telling white lies to not offend others, also to live mainly in the now. How ? Just keep the afore mentioned in mind and engage with children e.g Game play, homework,activities. (so does this = love ?) Love (Bringing us nicely onto the next section) Basically love is as in the previous section, commiting yourself to another. However in an adult healthy relationship you should expect to take as much as you give (listen and teach). People often have a scewed (prehapes based on lack of love as a child) view of love either it just happens or they have to devote themselves to the other (get angry when not mirrored). Truthfully it does require effort but you also need to remain independent to continue your own self examination and growth. Self examination in fact could be termed self love. (pushing yourself to do better). Considering real love needs quite a lot of effort, why do we want it so much ? To examine this lets go back to how we got on to the topic , bringing up our children. -Babies, develop a sense of me when mum doesn’t always come. - Terrible twos, tantrum to try and command people. - Three +, calm down a bit but want to be “superman”. -Adolescents, give up on the ‘dream’ realising they can only work in the boundaries of reality. This makes them feel alone (note difference lonely-lack of people, alone-lack of connection) and want love (real connection) a loving relationship allows the person to drop boundaries and be true to self. The above demonstrates the formation of boundaries (needed to not hurt others and climb the social structure). A lot of people choose not to think too much about this and ‘just go with it’, those who do can find it even harder to find someone to love who thinks on their level. Religion and Grace In the 21st century you may feel the previous two sections pretty much give a good life bible. You’re wrong religion/grace is needed just as much as ever. There are still things unexplained by science / too complex (too many variables to control – these are on the increase in busy modern society) that we could go mad (detach from reality) contemplating them for too long. It’s incredibly helpful to term these ‘grace’ (or luck or chance). Religion has now come to be seen as, the set of rules we live by gained through various experiences and unique to us. These help us interact with others. Pitfalls in faith. If you do believe in a god (s) you can stop self-examination and just say that’s the way god(S) want it so not reaching your full potential. You can also punish yourself for evil , when nobodies perfect sometimes you don’t realise what you’ve done until it’s too late/ can’t face the alternative of looking inside yourself. (for whatever reason time, other commitments,mental e.tc.). Truth is the other part probably learnt through your mistakes anyway. If you’re anything like me you’ll be questioning if you’ve taken everything in you’ve just read. Don’t because our subconscious ability to learn is one of those things termed grace. Extras If your looking for a phycologist it’s important to fit with them. Try for a while to see if it’s just your resistance to change. If it’s still not working try someone new. The book focuses on Spiritual power there is also political power. (as touched on in boundaries and ability to climb the social structure. (to do this effectively you may have to lie etc. so is it a balance between status and faith)? - I was originally inspired to read the book by a vlogbrothers video on the title. A very good watch.

Good condition

An interesting and thought provoking read

Rather than write a plain old review of this book, I thought I'd make a more personal evaluation of it, as I think that may be more useful to prospective readers, so please excuse my individual intimations. This book was recommended to me by two friends who are a couple, whilst at a party. After the party I spoke with others who had read the work, and received comments as far-reaching and contradictory as "life-changing" on one hand, and "utter garbage" on the other. Curious as to what kind of book would produce such vastly opposed opinions I decided to read it, and now I understand why it affords such diverse reactions. In truth, I think the attitude of the reader, and his or her and reason for reading the book has as much to do with its perceived merit as the content itself. Personally, I am 47 years old, I hold one combined undergraduate degree in philosophy and psychology, which I did not enjoy studying for at all, and another in computer science, the latter now being my professional vocation. My second degree was a first class honours, as opposed to the 2nd I received for my initial studies, and I put that down to my own attitude and acceptance of the new subject in being inherently affiliated with logic and truth, as is the nature of computer science. The point I'd like to make with this information, is that those who come to this book in search of spiritual solace will very likely find it. In the same way, if one approaches science, religion, or the apparent wisdoms and practices of the new-age movement with an attitude of openness and trust towards "spirituality", then one will feel rewarded with the knowledge gained. However, if one approaches this book out of simple curiosity, or with a background of knowledge of philosophy and psychology that brings a degree of skepticism towards the author's more esoteric answers of religion and spirituality, then the work appears sadly flawed, though not, as some people suggest, to it's utter destruction. In fact, much of the book is very interesting as it describes accurately, in psychoanalytical terms, what other authors of fiction attempt to illustrate about the nature of the efforts and attitudes of contented adults in civilised western society. To the "lay reader", this gives insights into the benefits of personal discipline; the facets of long lasting stable relationships as opposed to the musings of new-found love; and the well described problems and solutions in overcoming one's own inhibiting beliefs. For this I will credit the author. Contrarily, in the latter part of the book, M. Scott Peck continues to explain aspects of human endeavour, but engages in a discourse on his views on spirituality and religion. He proposes that all human beings have a religion, that science is a religion, as well as atheism, and spends some considerable effort in describing matters that he considers as being actually miraculous. He appoints as miracles, the abundance of healthy humans despite what he considers the apparent fragility of body and mind. He presents personal anecdotes regarding his own near-death experience and mundane coincidences as the evidence of miracles and shared consciousness, and employs the wonder and improbability of evolution over physical entropy to project to the reader the idea that the world as we know it is governed by what he describes as grace, a mysterious divine power that is in eternal conflict with entropy. This latter discussion shows the age of the book, since it was written in the late 1970's, and the physics and mathematics of the day were without the computers to create virtual models by which to study such physical manifestations as entropy. In light of this, the author's assertions are highly selective. He describes entropy; the reduction of energy dispersion to a chaotic state, as the final overarching physical attribute of matter. He ignores the fact that molecular compounds combine through electron bonding due to electro-magnetic attraction. In fact, one only has to look at a simple magnet to see that energy, in the form of a magnetic field, can and does indeed have a great deal of order to its form, and is not simply a matter of chaotic entropic dispersal. Not only that, but this process of compound formation gives rise to literally every type of physical matter, each having different levels of combined resilience, e.g. soap, diamonds and amino acids, whose existence are not governed by entropy, but merely affected by it, in terms of their existential longevity. As with evolution, one of the great mysteries of life is the development of consciousness, yet here the author once again attributes it's existence as another miracle. Asserting that this is a particularly human trait, he goes further to make additional assertions on human evolution, attributing the nature of evil to entropy, going so far as to suggest that human lethargy is in fact entropy manifested as evil, and that it is laziness, and a lack of application of the author's conceptual love and discipline that is the major cause of psychological problems in human beings. As examples, the author then actually uses biblical images; the serpent and apple on the tree of knowledge; the crucifixion of Christ, and the concept of original sin and simply adapts them to suit his reasoning. That the concept of original sin is a later idea, projected onto the Gospels of Genesis by St Augustine and absorbed by Roman Catholicism in the 16th century seems to be idly ignored, so It seems laziness of the mind can also extend to celebrated psychoanalysts. Also, at no point is there any reference to the nature of suffering that the author's described sentient god is willing to assert, not only on humanity, but on all of nature; with disease, starvation and the cruel predations of all manner, from the microbic virus to the leaping tiger. Quite how that is part of entropic lethargy, and is entirely acceptable to a divine creator is left entirely untouched. As the book begins to draw to its final chapter, M. Scott Peck actually acknowledges that he cannot fully describe his model for grace, nor does he accurately describe the conditions by which some are capable of attenuating this lackadaisical, evil other than by having the good fortune to be Blessed, perhaps just having loving parents and maybe an effective education, or basically be fortunate enough to be raised as a well adjusted human being and not feel the need to seek the advice of a psychoanalyst. In closing the writer begins to slip into dogma: "I have interpreted Christ's saying 'Many are called but few are chosen' to mean that very few choose to heed the call of grace because of the difficulties involved", then a few pages later claims that "the study of theology is a relatively poor method of preparation and, by itself, completely useless", going to claim that such a paradox is an emblem of his previously purported miracle of serendipity. At the last, he then finishes the book with a lengthy flourished chapter, charged with absolution and encouragement meant to embolden the reader to go forth with Grace into the miraculous world and enjoy their new found higher knowledge to the betterment of humanity. There is a brief afterword that acknowledges all the praise given to the author (but noticeably, no criticism), and advises the reader seeking psychological therapy on best ways to do so. So... still here? For me, since this book presents itself as an advisory, and as good counsel for those in search of spiritual enlightenment, then I feel is necessary to go further than offer a basic critique. To be blunt, if one is to take baking advice from a baker, then his bread had better be good. It is in this respect that having looked at M. Scott Peck's bibliography and personal life, I find reason to distance myself from his work. That in 2005, he felt compelled to write his personal account of demonic possession and the exorcisms he has personally performed, as well as his catalogue of other books dedicated to those who are in search of enlightenment, leaves me with a sense of a man who is pandering to those who are willing to accept truth as something they should be told, as opposed to something they are capable of accepting and deciding for themselves. To me, faith and spirituality, whatever the denomination, requires that the believer who will appoint himself as preacher, should be able to personally attest to its benefits by their own actions. So to the man himself, a self-confessed philanderer, a divorcee who chooses to drink and smoke marijuana, who lives estranged from two of his own children, I can only offer dubious respect to his professional and academic credentials. Finally, if I were to offer any advice to the prospective reader, before embarking on this book, first read "Battle For The Mind", by William Sargant. Another highly controversial psychologist, this author at least describes, the processes by which M. Scott Peck seems to make a living, without the veil of piety.

The nearest I’m going to get to acknowledging the existence of god whilst remaining a curious agnostic.

If a picture is worth a 1000 words, then a great title is worth twice. I never knew that I could get as much insight and enlightenment from a title as from the contents of a book. But, thoroughly enjoying this read, which has enlarged my appreciation for the title even more. The goal of finding The Road Less Travelled is to make it a part of our map contour. Although I found some culturally biased language used throughout, I have otherwise thoroughly being made a better human by its reading. Written with a simple elegance, beyond word description that only the soul comprehends.

This book is amazing and healing. I have had a previous one and wore it out by reading it so often. Each time I read it I get further Revelation. Highly recommend it!

Amazing book, will put you on a life-changing journey towards recovery from trauma, understanding yourself and others better, becoming disciplined, attuned to yourself, and a better human being

It allowed me to have a glimpse of the "big picture" and draw a sketch of a possible path to follow. It does not give plain answers but a rather original (to me) way to approach life in general. When you have a map in your mind it is certainly easier to travel through life and make conscious as well as unconscious decisions that lead you to where you're heading. I was a bit worried about the last chapters on a religion-like approach but i must say i found it very interesting. It does not "sell" you a religion or religion-like approach, it is simply pragmatic as something that cannot really be totally understood... Yet.

Very interesting read. I haven't finished the book yet but am thoroughly enjoying it and find it packed with useful info. Highly recommended.

The author discourses about the elements of spiritual growth, and presents his concept of love as "effort towards one's spiritual growth." The book is filled with examples from his vast experiences as a psychoanalyst. Highly recommended for everyone who wants to love. =] (As a side-note, despite being overtly Christian, he is very mindful of the different facets of religiosity and throughout most of the book presents unbiased (at least as far as possible) discussions.)